To Be Or Not To Be…A “Widow” On Your Dating Profile?
To Be Or Not To Be…A “Widow” On Your Profile?
This is a question that often comes up when faced with the dreaded “Status” question whether it’s on a dating app, a dating website, or even on Facebook.
Should you put “widow”?
Should you put “single”?
What’s the right answer here?
The answer is WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE.
I know, that’s a very general, safe, blah answer, but it’s the truth!
Sorry.
I will say this, though. Some people will say they’re “single”, some will say “widowed”, but you don’t have to define yourself in any way if you don’t want to.
If you choose to omit “widow”, it’s okay! It’s not that you’re trying to intentionally hide information from anyone, you’re just not leading with that information. Yes, your husband was a huge part of your life and your story. That will all eventually come to the surface in conversation and as you get to know the other person.
Your profile is meant to showcase you and your personality, your likes and your dislikes. Your profile is not meant to shine a light on your past.
If you’re on an app that has a drop-down menu only and you have to choose an option, you can always put “single” if you feel more comfortable with that.
But, then maybe you feel pressured to put “widow” because if you don’t then it’s not honoring your late husband and the life you had together. And you feel more guilt because of it.
Well, crap.
That’s a very valid thought, too!
So?
To be a “widow” or not? I have interviewed so many remarkable women on Widow 180: The Podcast and when I’ve asked this question to my guests, it seems the decision is a 50/50 split between “yes” and “no”.
Consider this:
There are 2 reasons why you may want to stay away from using the word “widow”.
1. Sometimes, but not always, a guy will see the word “widow” and assume A LOT of things because of it. They may think you’re needy and you want someone to come and rescue you.
Or you want someone to financially support you.
Or they don’t want to be constantly compared to your late husband. They automatically feel inferior in some way.
They’re making judgments about you before they even meet you. They’ll never know what a kind, loving, caring, vibrant, hilarious, kick-ass lady (or man) you are! You’re a catch, dammit! Just because of the word….widow.
All assumptions of course, but these things can happen.
2. On the flip side of that, a guy may see the word “widow” and assume you have a ton of money. Piles and piles of money with plenty to spare (and have stolen)! Unfortunately, this world is full of opportunistic men (and women!) who prey on widows and try to manipulate them out of money. Don’t let them.
Widow or not? In the end, the choice is yours, of course!
Do what you feel in your heart. Do what makes you comfortable. Make wise choices. Watch out for bad guys. Stay safe, please.
I would LOVE to hear your opinion on this topic!
What “status” do you put on your profile? And why?
Please email me: Jen@widow180.com
Or
Message me on Facebook: Widow 180 Community with Jen Zwinck
Other blog posts on dating:
www.widow180.com/resources/profilepictures
www.widow180.com/resources/datingagain
Not sure if you’re ready to start dating? Take our quiz!
https://widow180.ck.page/datingquiz
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