3 Ways To Combat Holiday Overwhelm!
When we’re overwhelmed it means our thoughts are directed by something that’s causing us anxiety.
Most of the time it’s the feeling of being pulled into a multiple directions at the same time.
Life moves forward and grief pulls us back.
A million thoughts are running through our heads at once. We’re constantly pulled in all different directions and there’s honestly not a lot of time to pause.
We don’t slow down.
We don’t stop.
Here are a few ways we can combat overwhelm in our lives this time of year:
1. Be in the present moment.
We don’t notice the moment we’re in because we’re so worried about what comes next. We only see a future that highlights the absence of our partner. We only see that everything has changed and the picture of our life is not what it used to be. In that future picture, we only see what we’re missing.
We’re worried about the past and the memories that flood our minds. We had a life that we loved that we can no longer have without our partner. The memories pull us back.
If you think about mindfulness and living in the present, think of it as taking out a flashlight and intentionally shining it on one spot. Ignore the rest.
Ignore everything that’s going on around that beam of light.
All of that other stuff is still there, but your attention is not on it. Let all of the other stuff go, just for a moment and come back to this moment. You will feel a calm come over you. You’ll notice it feels good to just be here.
There’s a peace and serenity that comes in that stillness.
So, be sure to give yourself some time. Give yourself a moment for YOU.
Pause.
Set a timer if you have to. Set a reminder on your phone if you have to. Take 10 minutes to yourself. It’s so important give that gift to yourself this Christmas.
2. Think about the FEELING of the end result and stay there in THAT feeling.
When we’re overwhelmed, we’re lost in the thought of all of the things that have to be done.
It’s going from point A to point B and seeing the million steps between those two points and feeling the worry and the stress and the anxiety.
But imagine if you’ve already done all of the steps. You did it all and you jumped to the end. How great does that feel? Think about how THAT end result feeling, being there and done feels, and STOP there!
Break down that BIG picture into smaller steps.
Like taking one bite at a time of your food. For example, if you say, “By the end of the month I need to have this done. By the end of the week, I need to have THIS done. What can I do today to move the needle forward and get closer to that goal?”
I know for a lot of widows we just want to skip right over the holidays. We want it all to be over and done with.
We feel like we have this long list of obligations. Parties to attend. Cookies to bake.
Well, what happens when we think about the holidays being over? How does that make you feel?
What feeling does that give you to think about getting through it?
Does it feel like relief? Does it feel more relaxed?
If that end result of getting past Christmas and New Year’s makes the stress seem to melt away, then stick with that thought in your head and stay there.
Stay with that feeling of peace that you’ve already made it past the holidays.
3. Ask yourself: “What type of support do I need to help me with this feeling of overwhelm?”
“What type of support do I need to relieve that stress/fear/frustration?”
I know when I think about it, JUST the simple thought of thinking about what could help me or who in my life could help me, immediately makes me feel lighter! I feel relief in my body. My muscles aren’t as tense. Just thinking about it, helps!
It’s knowing that there is a way out of this feeling. That I’m not stuck in it forever.
For example, let’s say that one of the things that stresses you out this year is buying gifts for the family.
Your head’s not in it.
Your heart’s not in it.
The holidays are a time for joy and cheer and you are not there.
Maybe you still have small children at home and you feel like presents must be under the tree on Christmas morning. Enlist a friend or other family member to help out.
Ask.
You have to ask for the help.
The other people in your life don’t always know exactly what you need or what you’re capable of. Ask someone in your family to help get the things done. Have them help you form a list, form a plan, and do what needs to be done.
For more discussions on surviving the holidays,
join our Facebook Group:
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The Widow’s Holiday Guidebook: 45 Days Of Self-Reflection, Self-Compassion, And Self-Care
is available to DOWNLOAD!
The book is designed to walk you through the last 45 days of the year. It’s filled with activities, journal prompts, exercises, tips, and advice on how to get through the holidays.
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