3 Ways To Manage Anxiety During The Holidays!

Written By Jennifer Zwinck

Episode 154

We're starting today's podcast with a quote from Marcus Aurelius and he says "The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength." This is an important quote because today's topic on the podcast is anxiety.

This podcast episode covers 3 ways you can manage anxiety during the holidays AND any time of year, for that matter. 

If you take away anything from today, I want you to remember this: You have power over the panic! You have the power within you, the strength within you, to calm your mind.

Listen To The Full Episode HERE:

Connect with Widow Coach and Advocate Jen Zwinck:

Episode Transcript:

Good morning Widow 180 listeners. Let’s start off today’s podcast with a quote. This is from Marcus Aurelius who says “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.

I want to start off with that quote about calming the mind because the topic for today is anxiety. This a monster of a topic, I know. And I plan on covering the topic of anxiety a lot next year.

But Today, we’re talking about 3 ways to manage anxiety during the holidays. However the tips that I’m sharing with you today aren’t JUST specific to the holidays. They are actually things you can do and tools that you can use throughout the year, ANY time of year when you start to feel anxious. When I do my interviews with my guests on the podcast, anxiety is usually one of the topics that comes up. It’s one of grief’s pain in the ass sidekicks, you know. Anxiety is usually hangin out, right there, too.  Anxiety is so relentless and so prevalent when we lose someone, that, I know for me, it was one of those things that I thought would never go away. I mean, I really and truly thought “am I going to feel this way forever?”

Because it was something that I had never experienced before, THAT level of anxiety had never run through my body in my entire life, so I didn’t know what to do with it.

Especially in the first 6 months or so, at least. But even into a couple of years later, I still had heightened anxiety. And I didn’t know how to handle it. 

I wasn’t aware that there are things you can do to minimize it and manage it. Not completely control it or eliminate it, like we want to! But manage it. So that. At the very least, I could try to maintain a normal, functioning life and not let it take over my life.

But especially now, during the holidays, like everything else surrounding grief, it gets amplified. Because of expectations we feel like we have to meet, because of the triggers we face. Which I talked about on episode 151. That was 5 Stress Triggers you might face during the holidays. If you haven’t listened go back and listen to that one.

We talk about the pressure we have and that we put on ourselves to do everything and make things feel normal for ourselves and for our kids, despite the fact that we are missing a foundational part of our family. It becomes an unrealistic expectation we put on ourselves. And causes us stress, anxiety, and panic.

But if you take away anything from today, I want you to remember this: that you have power over the panic. You have the power within you, the strength within you, to calm your mind. And it’s tough when you’re in a moment of panic, because you truly feel powerless, like it’s taken over your body and your brain. It feels like an overpowering part of you, I want you to know that you can take that control back and take steps to overcome that feeling. 

Let’s go over 3 ways you can manage anxiety:

#1 Become aware that you are feeling anxious.

The first step is always self-awareness. When you feel off. When you feel anxiety and panic coming on strong, notice it. When you can notice the first, initial feeling of panic is when you can immediately step in it’s way, and WILL yourself to relax more. Notice the tension in your chest or your breathing becomes shallow and WILL yourself to physically relax your body. The thoughts may still want to come and flood your mind, but we can tell our bodies to relax. Tighten your fists and then relax. Tighten your fists and then relax. It’s like you’re reminding your body what it feels like to be calm.

Put your hand on your heart so you can feel your breathing. Notice it.

What’s happening with your breath? Is it shallow?

Is your breathing confined to the upper part of your lungs or is it expanding down into your belly like it should? I just did an interview with Michelle Collins and that episode is coming out soon, but she is a yoga and meditation coach, and during the interview we talked about a simple thing you can do to calm yourself. It was a belly breathing exercise. So when you notice your breath is shallow in your chest, move your breathing to your belly.

Put your hands on your stomach and feel the breath moving through your body in deeper, longer breaths. Let’s try this right now. Put your hands on your stomach and take a few deep breaths, making sure to expand your belly with each long breath. Do this a few times. You can close your eyes. To help focus on your breath. Breathwork is essential for helping anxiety. And it’s something you can always come back to easily wherever you are.

#2 Aside from breathwork, another thing that I’ve found to be helpful when managing anxiety is to do something about those swirling thoughts in your head.

The ones that make us spiral.  You can push those intrusive thoughts aside by replacing them with other, more kind thoughts.   You can replace them with affirmations that you tell yourself, either out loud or to yourself. But speaking them out loud, to me, makes them feel more powerful. Here are some powerful affirmations you can use:

I welcome peace into my heart.  Ya’ll I said this one so many times, I can’t even count. But in different ways too. I would make a request to the universe “Give me peace in my heart.” Or “I need peace in my heart.” But “I welcome peace in my heart” was always a go-to phrase for me to calm myself down.

You can also say: I am at peace. I am at peace.

Or

As I breathe, I relax. As I breathe, I relax.

I can move past this moment. I can move past this moment.

I choose to feel calm. I choose to feel calm.

I choose how I feel, and I feel love and light. I choose how I feel, and I feel love and light.

Those are just some examples. You can make up your own, of course. Whatever feels good to you, whatever brings you comfort. Whatever makes you feel calm.

#3 This last tip for managing anxiety has come up several times with several of my podcast guests, but one of the most memorable conversations was with Sabine Horner.

I did her interview on episode 85 so you can go back and listen to that one. I LOVE her! Love her! She’s amazing and brilliant and I learn something new every time I talk to her. She’s a grief nutritionist who’s also come to talk to our Widow Squad members! But one of the things she talked about was the calming effect of repetitive actions. Repetitive actions help reduce stress. Sabine said “I’m sure you notice when people are panicking or feeling an anxiety attack, they rock back and forth. It’s the repeated motion of rocking that helps calm us down.”

But there are other repetitive actions we can do that benefit us. And these are simple, easy things you can do to have that calming effect. Rub lotion on your hands or your feet or both! It’s almost like a self-massage that has a soothing effect. Another thing to do is to clean and scrub. Scrub the sink or the tub. Doing that repeated motion can help your body release some of the tension. And BONUS, your house gets clean.

The last one that Sabine talked about to our WidowSquad members was stirring, and cooking. And even chopping. So, get a good recipe for a yummy soup and do some chopping and some stirring. That repetitive action is calming and AGAIN BONUS, because now you have an awesome meal plus leftovers!

So, let’s do a little recap of these 3 ways you can manage anxiety.

#1 was becoming aware that those panic feelings are creeping in and do something about it immediately. Stop. Take a pause. Notice your breath. Take some long, deep belly breaths. Tighten your fists, then release them. Remind your body what it feels like to relax.

#2 Push aside those intrusive thoughts by replacing them with kinder words. I welcome peace into my heart. And I choose to feel calm. Make up your own phrases. Whatever feels right to you.

And #3 repetitive actions help soothe our minds and our bodies. Try sitting and taking some time to be in the moment and pet your cat or dog. Be in the moment and rub lotion on your hands or feet. Or find a great recipe to try and do some chopping and stirring like Sabine suggests.

These are all great ways to combat stress and help us relax.

Remember that quote from Marcus Aurleius “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”

Please be sure to subscribe and share this podcast episode with someone who needs it. You can check out my other blog posts about handling the holidays at widow180.com. Or get into our Facebook group at Widow 180 Community. Or follow us on Instagram at The Widow Squad.

I am sending all of you peace and calm this weekend as we get into Christmas. My heart is with all of you and you are in my heart. For those of you traveling somewhere this weekend, please be careful and safe travels to you.

I’ll be back next week with another episode. Until then, believe in the possibilities.

Jennifer Zwinck https://www.widow180.com
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