Episode 5: Tina Murphy Of Widow’s Wallet Coaches Widows Down A Path Of Emotional And Financial Success
Tina Murphy
Listen to the full interview here!
Tina Murphy had been happily married to her husband Jamie for 10 years, on a path to living a content life with their 2 boys Parker and Brady.
In October 2013, Jamie collapsed while playing ball with the boys in their front yard.
Tina talks to us about how she made some poor money choices, turning to shopping in order to numb her pain.
She took a coaching course that taught her how to process her emotions and take control of her thoughts.
And with her background in teaching finance, she now coaches other widows those same tools and techniques and helps them devise a strategic plan for their own financial and emotional success.
You can reach Tina on Facebook at Widow’s Wallet
and on Instagram @widowswallet
TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Tina realized she was using money as a way to deal with her grief. She took friends and family on extravagant vacations and told herself it was to make memories.
Those first anniversaries - 1st Christmas, 1st Halloween, the 1 year mark - everyone handles those differently. Tina chooses the death anniversary as a day of reflection. But Father’s Day and his birthday, she and the boys go to Chuck E. Cheese or get donuts. Then they go get a beer from his favorite restaurant to bring to his grave.
Tina said that she does visit the gravesite with her boys because she doesn’t want them to avoid it. She wants the boys to talk about it and face it, but if they want to stay in the car, that’s fine too!
Tina turned to online shopping as a way to numb her pain, scrolling for hours and hours so she didn’t have to think about things. But as soon as she would hit the PURCHASE button, the pain came right back.
It’s ok to be negative and it’s ok to be positive. And actually we’re not being negative, we’re just feeling our emotions.
Tina hired a parenting coach and said it was one of the best decisions she has ever made. It helped her process what it means to be a solo parent.
Taking a coaching course helped Tina learn how to take control of her thoughts and feelings and actions.
We get to choose whether we will be happy or sad after our spouse dies. That decision is totally up to us.
Once you start to seethe process and realize that we are in control of what we think and feel - it is SO EMPOWERING! Because instead of feeling out of control we can figure it out!
If you have middle school kids, the board game PAYDAY is great for teaching kids about investments and credit cards and things.
